In this space, I guess I'll only feel contented after writing this. To some that I may have shared, the encouragement and support has been soothing. I just nod in comfort as my reply but my heart feels humbly blessed.
I feel beaten, after today's practice. I don't feel good about this at all. As we spend more time working through our lines and having the assorted rehearsals to work through different areas; I am slightly shaken by this whole agenda. And I'll be honest about my feelings.
I feel that as I attend more rehearsals, it seems to appear to me that I am losing my composure. I don't seem to be able to familiarize my roles, strengthen my mind and crystallize the essence of projection. My diction, inflexion and articulation seems to be suffering respectively and well, promising some of these words are now getting to me.
In my mind, as I work through the roles, my execution and channeling of emotions seems to be like a splash of bullets out in the open and hoping to hit the target instead of injecting a sharp and precise emotion, that will capture and encapsulate all that is wanting to portrayed.
I ask myself, am I working through this the wrong way? Am I just not good at this? Has passion been over run by stale progression? I don't know, I honestly don't.
I feel like I have hit the wall this time. I want to break out of this barricade. As a result, I try too hard. I force myself to hit certain standards, I don't enjoy and relax. I am shaken. I am struggling with my own being, the inner self that I battle with seems to be having the edge. I am losing battles but I may just lose the war at the rate I'm going. Or at least I feel so.
However, I am thankful for this. Friends who truly encourage and support, the people who believe and will see that you rise to the occassion. A dear brother left this on msn as a personal encouragement;
"Don't worry/fret too much about your roles. Take it step by step. You don't need to trust the Lord to make it to the top of the mountain...you only need to trust Him to take the next step. The way you climb a mountain is one step at a time...not ONE big leap!"
I feel beaten, after today's practice. I don't feel good about this at all. As we spend more time working through our lines and having the assorted rehearsals to work through different areas; I am slightly shaken by this whole agenda. And I'll be honest about my feelings.
I feel that as I attend more rehearsals, it seems to appear to me that I am losing my composure. I don't seem to be able to familiarize my roles, strengthen my mind and crystallize the essence of projection. My diction, inflexion and articulation seems to be suffering respectively and well, promising some of these words are now getting to me.
In my mind, as I work through the roles, my execution and channeling of emotions seems to be like a splash of bullets out in the open and hoping to hit the target instead of injecting a sharp and precise emotion, that will capture and encapsulate all that is wanting to portrayed.
I ask myself, am I working through this the wrong way? Am I just not good at this? Has passion been over run by stale progression? I don't know, I honestly don't.
I feel like I have hit the wall this time. I want to break out of this barricade. As a result, I try too hard. I force myself to hit certain standards, I don't enjoy and relax. I am shaken. I am struggling with my own being, the inner self that I battle with seems to be having the edge. I am losing battles but I may just lose the war at the rate I'm going. Or at least I feel so.
However, I am thankful for this. Friends who truly encourage and support, the people who believe and will see that you rise to the occassion. A dear brother left this on msn as a personal encouragement;
"Don't worry/fret too much about your roles. Take it step by step. You don't need to trust the Lord to make it to the top of the mountain...you only need to trust Him to take the next step. The way you climb a mountain is one step at a time...not ONE big leap!"
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